Law And Disorder

AS summertime approaches and we look forward to the day light lasting longer than tea time, the clock getting set to jump forward an hour and the dark cold days of winter set to fade to a memory-unless of course you have had the latest effects of global warming, with its twenty feet of snow dumped upon you!- we gear up for Easter as our launch into better days.

This week I have been living in anticipation of what the wee one and I would get up to and there was also the wee bonus of breaking my diet for a day of chocolate gorging as I helped eat her Easter eggs!

Like all the best laid plans though I forgot to factor in a couple of small but not insignificant factors. This week is turning into the shortest week of the year as far as the wee one and I are concerned, firstly I had totally forgotten she was having a sleep over with her mum aka my daughter and secondly and I know I was told, the wee ones granny aka the house procurator fiscal aka the wife was taking the wee one to see her great granny in Fort William!
So all the planning, and all the buying of wee surprises for our Easter hunt, will have to remain in cold storage and another day will have to be designated as Easter on their return.
Now many people would be glad of the break, given that the wee one and I are pretty much a team 24/7 seven days a week and you would think I would be no different, indeed not only should I perhaps enjoy the break but the other members of the household might like it to.
The problem with the fact that the wee one is away on a mini break and with her that will be an adventure of the new, is simply this, the house not only becomes eerily quiet, but worse still is the natives get restless! Now if you further add into the mix that the chief prosecutor of the house aka the wife is also absent then the natives have a habit of ignoring the laws and without warning anarchy could be the norm very quickly.

Now no one looks forward to the law enforcer disappearing quite as much as the ASBO gardener aka papa as he see's this as an opportunity to take some of his projects from the drawing board on to site with no one to stop him before its well underway and therefore too late. Normally the wee one is the first to spot that he is up to something and she will sound the alarm, giving me the chance to hold him up in negotiation until the law enforcer gets home from her work. This system has worked pretty well up until now with only small scale incidents and minor disruption to the garden and its occupants if we don't count the garage incident!!An incident that kept a whole community in fire wood for a winter!!
So with the wee one away, the law enforcer away and my son missing in action over at his grannies, that leaves me to keep an eye on things or more to the point my eye on the ASBO gardener and the goings on in his shed.
The son being at the grannies will be a short lived bonus because when he hears the law is out of town the notion that is party will filter into his head as it would with many a teenager and not only that the ASBO gardener despite being eighty one will be at the vanguard of such an idea, helping organise any such event!!!

So where does that leave me? I will be about one step behind the ASBO gardener watching his every move, while at the same time answering the phone to explain there is no party, making sure that the house stays neat and tidy and free from all takeaway packaging and generally running around like a headless chicken putting out the fires of their mischief where ever they start them!

So I hope the wee one has a great adventure and that the law enforcer re-charges her Taser, because when they get home I will get the peace and quiet of having the wee one back and an Easter hunt to organise and at last a bite of chocolate egg to break the diet with, all be it for a short lived moment of pleasure!